Vampires 103 – Strengths and Weaknesses

My partner (currently in hiding – swine flu provides the perfect alibi when you need to disappear), gave a brief run down on the basics of what a vampire’s strengths and weaknesses are before he was forced to run. Here is a more detailed account.

So, what are a vampire’s strengths? The short answer is everything. Everything you can do, it can do better. It is more charming, more attractive to its prey, smarter (when a creature lives for millenia, it tends to become quite intelligent), faster, stronger, and harder to kill than you are. As well as this, it has the ability to change its shape, it can exert mind control over its victims and prospective victims, and can read the surface thoughts, intentions and emotions of any human around it. This is what you’re up against. Good luck, you’ll need it.

They are not, however, invulnerable. Silver won’t help you (creatures of the Færie are the only ones to suffer from metal and even they insist on cold-forged iron) but you don’t necessarily need it. Ultimately vampires are flesh and blood (or, depending on how recently they’ve fed, flesh without blood). They’re no more vulnerable to special, pseudo-magical stuff than a human is, but neither are they less vulnerable to non-magical things. They have a few pecularities, though. Firstly, their shape change ability is reduced (though not eliminated) in day light. Don’t expect them to crumble to ash in the sun, but they can’t change to mist and fly away quite as easily. Secondly, they are fundamentalist atheist, and they find sermons so abhorent to be around that they will (usually) leave to get away from “the ignorant mutterings of cattle” (or they might just get angry. Very angry). Third, they OCD. This is relatively new information, sent by the Dark Communist immediately before he fled the undead horde, but vampires feel a compulsion to count things, leave things in perfect order, and find anything that’s lost. This means that scattering bird seed on the ground can potentially delay them as they stop to count it. Be warned, they count as quickly as they move, so mostly this will just give you time to duck before they next try to kill you. Fourth and finally, vampires are polite to a fault. They feel the need (and this may be part of the OCD, but I doubt it) to ask permission before entering your house. Once inside, though, you’ll find that they see no reason to leave and they consider permission granted for every other time they come ’round for tea. So don’t abandon hope, they can be defeated. You just need to clever. And lucky. And have a few friends nearby to offer up as bait. And a really big gun.